You Have To Trust me
by DesiraeSCLT11
Summary: Dean has been acting off ever since Castiel shared his plans to give up his Grace, and Cas wants to know why.


He needed this. He needed to go out, have some drinks and put it all out of his mind. He was avoiding Castiel's

searching stare as he pulled on his jeans, as he drew on a grey metallica tee shirt. He was determined not to stress. It

was a night off. They would meet Sam and Amelia at the club with Charlie and her new girlfriend, (Jenni with an I, she'd

been sure to mention ) and he would put last night away. He would bury the image of the knife plunging through Cas's

stomach with a sickening pop. Dean shook himself, squeezed the bridge of his nose and chanced a glance up at Castiel and

found their gazes locked.

He was fine now. The demon had been dispatched and Cas had healed. No one would look at him now and see a stabbing

victim. No, they would see a lean man with slight stubble, sexy mussed dark hair and bedroom eyes of deep blue. Instead of

usual suit and trench, he wore a long sleeved black tee shirt, jeans and a pair of red and white converse. And he was

looking straight through Dean's green eyes in that way that let him know he could hide nothing from the Angel. Castiel

wasn't blind. He may be socially awkward, he may not get random pop culture references, but he knew Dean. Inside and out.

"Are we going to talk about it?" Castiel asked, in that gravel laced voice that always shot straight to Dean's groin.

His eyes stayed steady on Dean's, and Dean had to fight to make it sound like he was genuinely confused. He cleared his

throat and reached for his leather jacket.

"Talk about what?"

"Do not play games with me Dean. You know what I am speaking of." Castiel's Angel of the Lord tone raised Dean's

hackles. It didn't matter that Cas was right. Of course he knew what he was talking about. "You can't keep doing this. You

can't keep pushing me away during the day and an night be so-" Castiel stopped and sighed.

"Be so what, Cas?"

For a minute thay had one of their staring contests before Castiel tilted his head and said in a low growl, "Hungry".

Dean sighed and pushed a hand though his hair. "Look, can we table this until-" His words were swallowed by a pounding

on the hotel door and Sam calling out.

"You guys ready? Amelia is holding the table for us, that place gets busy."

"Coming Sammy!" Dean called back. He reached out his hand, grabbed Castiel's, lacing their fingers, his grip firm. "Lets

go, we don't want Sam to start bitching."

Castiel let himself be lead away, but with a heavy heart. Two weeks ago Dean wouldn't have cared about being late. Two

weeks ago he would have been fucking Cas against the door without a care as to who heard or what time they arrived at

their destination.

The club was only 3 blocks away, so they hoofed it. The demon nest had lead them to Boston, and it was Sam's idea to get

together with Charlie while they were here. She may have had many aliases, but to Dean, she'd always be Charlie Bradbury,

the little sister he never wanted. Sam had known that she was in town because of a Twilight Convention. "Twilight, are

you fucking serious?" Dean had scoffed, ashamed that his brother even knew the event was taking place. Sam had just

smiled. He did that alot now, especially since Amelia had joined them a year ago. She didn't come on the hunts, but she

was there for Sam when they got back from whatever big bad they were fighting. It had taken Dean a little while to get

used to having a girl around, earning pinches from Cas when he swore too much. Amelia didnt seem to mind though. She was

okay in Dean's book, and that meant alot to Sam. He told himself he didn't need Dean's approval, but that didn't mean he

didn't want it all the same.

The walk was quiet. Sam would have to be blind to not notice the tension between his brother and his Angel. He wasn't

too worried, he knew whatever Dean's issue, because it was obviously Dean with the problem, Castiel would pry it out of

him. Sam was in awe of Cas's patience with his brother. He figured it must be an Angel thing. Dean had a stubborn streak a

mile long and liked things to go his way. Castiel never seemed bothered though, he would just wait him out, stare him down

till Dean finally broke, which always brought a rare full bloomed smile to Cas's face. Dean would call him a bitch before

kissing him hard on the lips. Amelia had asked Sam if he was shocked when Dean and Cas's relationship had taken that

romantic turn and he'd had to say he really wasn't. She had asked because Sam had told her about how Dean had kinda been a

whore when it came to women, besides Lisa. Sam had said it wasn't a gender thing. It was just Castiel. They just had a

connection and after everything they head been through together, hell, purgatory, that bitch Naomi, just to name a few,

Sam just hadn't been surprised. Besides, they were still Dean and Cas. They acted the same. Dean was still a hard rocker

obsessed with his car and the hunt, and Cas was still a powerful being of celestial light still trying to learn the social

fundamentals of man. Except now they have sex. Dean will still wink at a hot girl and waggle his eyebrows at Sam, all the

while holding Cas's hand. If any girl happens to approach though, Dean is quick to say "No thanks, my boyfriend would

smite us" which usually earned him a elbow in the gut from the Angel. They just worked, Sam had told his girl. The past

few weeks had been uncomfortable, not the norm and Sam was pretty sure it had something to do with Cas deciding that when

things settle down, he was going to fall, give up his Grace to be human, really, to be with Dean. Sam didn't know why Dean

wasn't over the moon. Maybe guilt? Whatever the reason, Sam was sure Castiel would fix it. Even now, despite the air of

unease, Dean let go of Cas's hand to snake his arm around his waist, tugging him tight to his side, and absently pressed a

kiss to his forhead.

The club was called Eclectic. It was three stories, the first, where they were going to be, had a bar, dance floor, and

what looked like the set up for some kareoke. Music poured through the speakers and Taylor Swift shouted how she was never

getting back together with someone. The second floor boasted a bowling alley and another bar, and the third was trance,

complete with blacklights and that pulsing music that made everyone want to jump. The interior on the main floor was

crimson and silver, with dim lighting provided by bell shaped light fixtures that dropped from the ceiling over the

tables. Sam beamed as he saw Amelia waving them over from a c-shaped booth in the back, like he hadn't just been with her

and hour ago. Her curly dark hair was in a clip and her delicate frame wrapped in a deep violet jersey dress. Her only

jewelry was a silver cross necklace Sam had given her for Christmas the previous year. Sam settled down next to her and

Castiel slid in on the other side, leaving Dean to take the outside, like he preferred.

A cute little blond waitress came over, one who in another life, Dean would have taken the time to hit on, and took

thier drink orders. Amelia and Sam ordered grape crushes to which Dean snickered "Chick" earning him a kick in the shin

from his brothers long leg. Dean ordered Kamakazi and Cas asked for ice water. "Come on man, live a little" Dean shoulder

bumped him, so Cas sighed and changed his order to a budweiser.

Sam looked around. "Man, this place is huge! I wonder how many demons could be hiding here?" He almost sounded excited.

Dean was not amused.

"Dude, are kidding me? Could you maybe NOT jinx us on our night off? No demons tonight, no guns and no knives" Dean

said harshly. He snapped his lips shut as the waitress returned with their drinks and Castiel noticed the slight tremor in

Dean's hand before he controlled it and grasped his drink. He downed it in one motion. Dean reached in his pocket as his

phone went off. He opened it and read the text. "Charlie'll be here soon. Im gonna take a piss and wait for her by the bar

so she doesn't miss us. Order shots." He said gruffly before leaving his seat. Castiel's eyes followed Dean as he walked

away.

"Cas, what is going on with him? He is seriously on edge!" Sam said.

"I know. He's not happy about me falling. I keep wondering if it's because we'd become too real this way. If I'm human,

he would feel obligated to stay with me. Maybe it's not what he wants. " He said it matter of factly, but his eyes were

dark with emotion.

"I don't think that's it." Amelia said gently and Castiel turned to face her. " The love that radiates from him when he

looks at you, it's almost palpatable." Cas gave a small smile at. He glanced up at the bar, saw Dean leaning against it,

with another drink. He also saw that he was involved in a conversation with a beautifully built brunette who just casually

reached up and brushed his forearm. Castiel narrowed his eyes as the flare of what he recognized as the very human emotion

of jealousy encompassed his being.

Dean drank his second kamakazi as he waited for Charlie to show up. He smiled, amused at the brazen girl trying to get

his attention. She was hot, he had to give her that, with her tight blue top and push up bra, coupled with a black

miniskirt and hooker boots. A flirtatious butterfly winged up her left shoulder. She touched his arm and asked if she

could buy him another drink. He chuckled to himself at how her attempts at a sexy voice paled in comparison to Cas's

everyday sandpaper tone. No one sounded hotter than his Angel, whether he was reading aloud from a menu "Dean, what is a

banana's foster?" or when he was pushing Dean into their bed with a low "I want you now."

Molly or was it Mindy? Didn't really matter, still had her hand on him and Dean could feel the heat of Castiel's gaze

boring into him. He didn't turn to face it, he just deftly moved his arm, in a casual attempt to scratch the back of his

neck. "Thanks, but I'm actually involved with someone."

The girl pouted and looked up at him from long lashes, then said "Well, what she doesn't know can't hurt her right?"

Dean laughs, and thinks, Wow! "Oh believe me sweetheart, he'd know. And I don't cheat."

"Your loss" she says, obviously put out and slinked away to her next victim on the other side of the bar. Dean just

laughs again and turns back towards the bar, only to find Castiel in his face. He nearly jumps. "Jesus Cas! I really do

have to get you that bell."

"Perhaps if you hadn't been so engrossed in that woman, you would have noticed me." Castiel says with a lofty eyebrow

lift. His tone is even, but his eyes are flashing. For a minute, Dean just stares. That happens to him alot. He gets lost

in Cas's eyes, which makes him feel like a douche, but what are you gonna do. What were they talking about again?

"Wait, what? What are you talking about?" Dean asks and Cas steps in closer to his personal space.

"I'm talking about this, he says and proceeds to curl his own hand on Dean's arm. "Is this the problem? Are you missing

your women? "

"Cas, what. the. fuck. are you talking about?" Dean spaces his words as though trying to talk to a child.

"I'm talking about" and there's that low gravel again that takes Dean's breath away, " the fact that you have barely

spoken to me in weeks unless it's to call upon our father during sex. I am talking about the fact that you smiled more at

that girl tonight than you have since I imformed you of my plan to give up my Grace. So I am asking you, is that the

problem? Are you done with me? Do you not want to be with me? Is a real lifetime with me too much for you too handle?"

They are standing close enough to breathe each others air and Dean's heart breaks a little at the fact that this is

where Castiel's mind would go. "Cas, let me make this clear. There is no one I want to be with other than you. No one. You

are it. I will fuck you right now on this bar if it would prove that to you."

"That would be unsanitary" is the Angel's reply and Dean lets out a bark of laughter. "Then please, Dean. What is

wrong?"

This was not the plan. He didn't want to do this here. He didn't want to think about it tonight, but of course that was

ridiculous. Of course he was thinking about it. That moment. All of those moments when he'd seen Castiel struck. Shot,

stabbed, and God, exploded! They were all there, like a vicious slideshow in his mind. Dean leveled his eyes on Cas and

said roughly. "You won't be able to heal anymore, right?" He didn't wait for answer and just turned to the bartender

asking for a shot of whiskey, tossed it back with a hiss after putting one of his many credit cards on the chrome counter.

He turned back to Cas who was still looking at him, quizzically. Dean saw when it hit, the dawning of understanding

playing across Castiel's features. His eyes widened and he just breathed out "Dean". They stood still, Dean feeling like

high school girl and Cas feeling like an idiot for not getting this sooner.

"It would END me, Cas". Dean's voice was raw.

"Yo braveheart!"

"Son of a Bitch!" Dean whispered as Charlie's voice cut through the intense moment he was sharing with his Angel. He

broke their gaze and Castiel watched as Dean slipped on a cool mask, smiling widely at wiry redhead striding their way. He

lifted her in a twirling hug, saying "What's up Queenie, fuck any fairies lately?"

She laughed. "Bitch! Hey Cas, looking good outta that suit!"

"Thank you, he said politely, "You are looking lovely as well." He was having a hard time settling, his insides still

quaking from the realization that Dean's problem with him giving up his grace had nothing to do with commitment and

everything to do with Dean's fear of losing him permanently. He ran a possesive hand up and down Dean's arm as he and

Charlie continued talking, continiued to keep it there when Dean suggested they head back to the table with Sam and

Amelia.

He felt the need to continue the contact when they sat down, keeping a hand on Dean's thigh, as though to reassure his

Hunter he was still there. They all cheered with the shots Sam had ordered while Dean and Cas had been at the bar.

Charlie choked and sputtered. "Smooth" she said, her face as red as her hair. Conversation flowed, and Dean unconciously

played with the hair at the nape of Cas's neck as they talked.

Sam could sense a change. He had witnessed the pair in one of their epic staring contests at the bar, from the table.

He hoped that things would go back to normal now. At least Dean was looking at him now, and Cas was looking back, with

some deep unspoken emotion. He cleared his throat. "So Charlie, where's your girlfriend? Thought we were going to meet her

tonight."

"Oh you will. She'll be here soon, she had to go back to the hotel to finish our blog on the convention." Dean laughed

at that.

"Right, I forgot, how were your sparkily vampires? Did you go out in the sun and take pictures, fangirl?"

Charlie cocked her head at him and took a pull from her vodka tonic with a straw and said "You know Dean-o, for someone

who doesn't like Twilight, I'm surprised you know what the effects of the sun have on the characters"

Amelia laughed and said, "That's my fault, I made them watch the movies."

"What did you think of the movies, Cas?" Charlie asked, prompting him to tear his gaze from Dean's face.

"I found the idea of a vampire human hybrid implausible and blasphemous." He said darkly. "And real vampires definately

do not sparkle." His tone was serious so Dean masked a chuckle behind his hand, but Charlie laughed outright.

"Dean, your boyfriend is fricken adorable. Oh, oh, wait! Here comes my girl. Get a load of her Dean, you are gonna

shit!" Sam was already laughing before Dean turned to get a load of Jenni with an i. His eyes widened before he turned

back to Charlie. "No fucking way! Are you serious? Is that...?"

"No, but she looks like she could be, right?"

Cas turns to look and just sighs. Jenni with an i looks like she could grace the cover of Dean's hallowed Busty Asian

Beauties. Generous breasts, curves in all the right places and a waterfall of jet black hair all poured into a tight, wine

colored dress that stopped just past croch level.

"I'll have another shot please." Is all Cas has to say about that.

Jenni with an i turned out to be really smart with a wicked sense of humor, and a total geek trapped in a bond girls

body. She was perfect for Charlie. They tried to get Dean drunk enough to do kareoke to no avail, although Sam gave it a

shot, with a rendition of Can't buy me Love that had Dean nearly pissing himself. As they all started back to the hotel,

Castiel smiled at Dean with amused affection as he stumbled a little down the sidewalk.

"That fresh air really gets ya" Sam snickered, as he stumpled along too, tripping over an orange cone.

"Smooth move assbutt!" Dean quipped with a sidelong glance at Castiel and made Sam double over in laughter. They said

their goodnights in the hotel parking lot before heading into their respective rooms, with plans to meet for breakfast

before they headed out their seperate ways in the morning.

Cas took the key card from Deans fumbling fingers and opened their door, flicking on the light. The sudden brightness

made Dean blink owlishly for a moment. Dean tossed his jacket on the chair before turning towards Castiel, backing him up

against the door and taking his mouth in a hot kiss, sweeping his tongue into his mouth and pressing his body flush

against him. He fisted his hands in Cas's hair and bit his lip,and illicted a low groan from the Angel. Cas ran his hands

up Deans chest before clutching the back of his head and giving back as good as he was getting. Dean reached down to pull

at the hem of his lovers shirt, but Cas broke away and stilled his hands. "Dean" was all he said. Dean sighed and rested

his forhead against Castiel's and sighed.

"Do we have to talk about this now?" he whipsered hoarsely

.

"I think it's best, yes." Castiel said, taking Dean's hand in leading him over to the edge of the bed.

They sat, turned towards each other, knees brushing, Dean with a petulant look on his face. "Okay. What do you have to

say? What can you say that will make me feel better about this?"

"Dean. This fear that you have? You must know, I live with it everyday. Everytime you go on a hunt that I can't be

there for. How many times have you come back to me, bloodied and bruised? What is it that you always say to me, hmm?"

Dean rolls his eyes heavenward. "I say that you have to trust me to handle myself when you can't be there." he finally

admits.

Cas gives him a pointed stare before saying "Don't I deserve the same respect and courtesy and trust?"

Dean pushes a hand through his hair and says "It's not the same, Cas!"

"How is it not the same? What makes it different for you?"

" Because I am used to being a human, you aren't! I fought for along time without angelic intervention, and it's going

to be all new to you. If something like last night happens again, you won't heal. You will die, and how do I handle that?

I can't. I won't survive. Just thinking about it..." he can't even finish.

Castiel wants to calm the war he sees raging inside of Dean. He strokes his hand down the side of his face, watches his

eyes close at the touch. "I'm not helpless Dean. I can fight. I have been around a long time. I've commanded garrisons if

you'll recall. But yes, things happen sometimes. Bad things. But we can't live our lives in fear. You know that better

than anyone. And you have to trust me enough to know that I will be careful. Do you think I want to give up my Grace to

have a life here with you, and then lose it all by being irresponsible with myself?"

Dean knows he's right. He doesn't like it, but he knows it. He reaches up and wraps his hand around the wrist of the

hand cupping his face and blows out a breath. "No. I know. I know you'll be careful. It's just scary to think about, and I

can't help thinking about it, and that's why I've been so distant. At night, it's easy for me to hold you tight and lose

myself in you, but during the day, it glares at me, like the fucking sun."

"Then we just have to promise to take care of each other. We can do that, can't we?"

"Yeah Cas, we can do that. We can." Dean says quietly before searching out Castiel's mouth with his own. They sighed

into each others mouths, breaking only to undress each other, sliding on to the bed, still sipping from each other as

their skin slides together. Cas grinds into Dean making him groan "Oh God", earning him a bit lip and a "Don't blasphemy

Dean", which just makes Dean hotter. They are a flurry of groping hands, tongues and teeth. Their cries of pleasure bounce

off the walls of the room. They are stroking and grinding and they are wound up enough to know this is as far as they will

get tonight. Too far gone already with just their hands stroking each other, and it's Castiel who comes first with a low

growl that pushes Dean right over the edge. For a few blissful moments they just lay there before Cas cleans them in a

blink with what Dean calls his angel mojo. Dean wraps himself around Castiel, still breathing heavy in the crook of his

neck. He whispers a sleepy "I love you, Cas."

"I love you too, Dean." Castiel whispers back, content to hold his hunter as he drifts off. A smile plays at his lips as

he thinks about what it will be like to slip into dreams beside his lover. But for now, this is good too.

The End


End file.
